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Post by AndreaS15 on Mar 19, 2008 12:35:02 GMT -8
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Post by badgerbluebadger on Mar 19, 2008 13:00:12 GMT -8
I love this forum and I am on it about 3 times a week. i hope I have helped people as much as I have recieved help.
A member vote could be very good - but just remember we are all signing on not to have rude debates and pick on people but because we love and keep Gerbils
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Post by nikkiy21 on Mar 19, 2008 13:34:27 GMT -8
There is no excuse for being rude & offensive. There are two members on here that immediately spring to mind but I'm not going to name names, you know who you are. Nobody wants to read posts like this so if you can't express your opinion in a mature and acceptable way, don't bother!
This is a forum after all and if you ask for advice and then don't agree with it, there is no need to get all defensive, be rude or insult others because you don't like their advice or point of view.
If you can't accept other peoples' opinions, advice or viewpoint, then why ask in the first place!
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Post by Jill on Mar 19, 2008 14:07:11 GMT -8
Everybody probably could name members who they don't get along with, or who make them uncomfortable, and I don't think they are the same for everybody. In my experience, anytime another member made me feel like that, I chose to not respond in a negative manner. I either ignored the comment, if I thought it was nonsense and/or irrelevant to the thread, or I responded politely without a sign of negativity. Usually, the situation would be diffused and I wouldn't have to deal with any drama. This is my advice to members. Usually, if another person seems to be attacking you, or making you feel uncomfortable, don't acknowledge them. If the problem gets really bad, then PM a mod. You will notice that the least combative members are the ones who stay out of the nonsense and stick the business. I think one of the better ways to maintain a positive atmosphere on this forum, where we are on track and helping one another is by staying positive and not feeding into the garbage that seems to pop up every so often. Chances are, the person writing the negative comments is sitting by their computer waiting for a reply; it's just fuel to the fire people. And like Ritzie has said so many times, there are times when if you find your self so angry that you can't help but write a nasty reply, step away from the key board ;-) You're only feeding the monster of negativity.
Be well, Jill
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genie
Member
*hello*
Posts: 1,133
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Post by genie on Mar 19, 2008 16:07:51 GMT -8
lol. its not like this is a personal friend type forum. where youve met people. This isnt just an 'interest group'. its pet advice  Probably not the best way i could say it, but im sure you get my point |
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Post by Boz on Mar 19, 2008 16:52:33 GMT -8
When people come here, they come here to get advice from other friendly gerbil lovers. Sadly some, choose to reply to those looking for help in a negative manner. I don't see a need for this. Believe it or not being nice to people in a reply can still get the point across! ;D And I'd just like to point out what nikky said, cause I really like how she worded this. Nobody wants to read posts like this so if you can't express your opinion in a mature and acceptable way, don't bother! I don't like to read about people fighting. Also what Jill said is good too  Why people can be so negative to others is beyond me. I don't know about you but I rather be loved then hated. |
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Post by SilverGerbil on Mar 20, 2008 13:08:42 GMT -8
There are two members on here that immediately spring to mind Same here! I can name two without even thinking but i am not going to do that as it isnt fair to pick on members when their not around or aware..or to do it full stop.. Hmm... I was thinking, I dont know if it is a possible thing to do...buut.. I think if people get stroppy and rude/out of order to another member they should get a warning from a mod or ritzie . about it. If they do it again they get another warning. If they do it a 3rd time they get banned from the site...their email address ip or whatever so they cant just log in to a different account...and do it again. You could ban them for like 3 months, then see if they can re-behave if not be permo banned? Would that be something possible to do? Could you put it into consideration? IF agreed to it you could post it on the top of every page... something like 'Badly Behaving Members' or something... xoxox |
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Post by vacampbell on Mar 20, 2008 13:41:45 GMT -8
I was going to start a thread similar to this the other day especially after reading a thread where a question was asked by a new member and I think only one person answered the question and the other 6ish answers were all about how the situation should never have arisen!! People are here for advice, there is no point in just telling them something shouldn't have happened full stop. I also feel that there are a lot of people/posts that are telling people what to do rather than giving advice/opinions. In my experience this tends to push people away or make them more determined to do it anyway and prove people wrong (or right) for example...someone posts a pic of a gerbil, clearly in a rotastak set up but is actually asking a question about a gerbil not eating... I find the immediate response to this from some people is change the habitat to a tank rather than answering the question. (I'm not going to get into the whole tank vs other habitat debate on here though!) But anyway my point is that some people are very negative about other people and it is generally not on topic. Several people post in ways that when people read it it sounds like an order. In life there is almost certainly going to be more than one solution (except maths generally!  ) or more than one way of getting the same solution. I think people need to be more open minded and realise there are other ways of dealing with things and also be positive!! I have no idea how the forum can stop people being negative or giving orders out and I dont think there is a solution to this part of the forum that is getting annoying... If you can't accept other peoples' opinions, advice or viewpoint, then why ask in the first place! I don't really agree with this statement...People should be able to ask advice and then be able to make up their own minds without being critised... otherwise people are doing exactly what this statement is saying...not accepting another persons opinion! (i.e. the person who asked the question in the first place) You can take a thirsty horse to water but you can't make it drink... on the other hand a horse that has had its fill doesn't need to drink... and a horse that is neither thirsty or full of water can choose to drink or not What I'm saying is that you can tell people facts that is known, for example putting a female with a male will almost certainly result in babies but you can't stop people from thinking that a female is too old to have pups and so is ok to be with a male... Someone who maybe has more experience may know better and so doesn't need to information as they know it maybe to be incorrect (and would probably point it out!) Where there is more than one solution people can pick and choose and neither will be right or wrong...for example the wheels or balls debate On a side note...the age thing would probably not work as recently it seems that it is generally people who are adults that have been causing arguments and being rude in the posts, not the younger members!! |
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Post by SilverGerbil on Mar 20, 2008 13:57:27 GMT -8
Vacampbell - I totally agree with you here.
Sometimes i feel like...oh maybe i shouldnt post..what if someone decides to post back a snotty reply or something.... n it is quite concerning.
Expecially if a member has posted about something, like forinstance...buying a pet shop gerb to put with another without being cautious and quaranteening the animal first they put it straight in... beaucse the other is lonely. They get shouted, and accused for being cruel etc...
Then they arise with problemms and wont/cant post back going 'help it turned out bad' beacuse they KNOW that a certian someone will go 'told you so your an idiot'
Its not fair, that people cant make genuine mistakes and just get shouted at.
I know when i first joined this forum and uploaded pictures of my tank, i know fully well i had plastic in the tank, first comment i got was a very snippy and rude one about the plastic tube in my tank... which granted was removed after that picture was taken, as it was only on their as Cyd WAS timid and would only come out with the use of the tube.
I think people do need to think before they post, something. Or if they are only going to be rude to not bother posting atall.
xoxox
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Post by nikkiy21 on Mar 20, 2008 14:18:59 GMT -8
If you can't accept other peoples' opinions, advice or viewpoint, then why ask in the first place! I don't really agree with this statement...People should be able to ask advice and then be able to make up their own minds without being critised... otherwise people are doing exactly what this statement is saying...not accepting another persons opinion! (i.e. the person who asked the question in the first place) You didn't actually quote this statement in its whole context which is "This is a forum after all and if you ask for advice and then don't agree with it, there is no need to get all defensive, be rude or insult others because you don't like their advice or point of view. If you can't accept other peoples' opinions, advice or viewpoint, then why ask in the first place"! This is referring to those people that post asking for advice etc., then get annoyed and respond by being rude, just because they don't like what somebody else is saying, be it their advice or opinion. I agree that people can ask for advice and make up their own minds on what to do but that dosen't mean they should be rude to others just because they don't like the advice or viewpoints submitted in reply. What I am saying is that if you ask for advice and can only respond to other people's advice/opinion by being rude, then why ask the question in the first place. By asking for advice or questions, you are not always necessarily going to agree or like other peoples' responses. Everyone has a right to their own opinion so it should be respected, irrespective of whether you agree or not! |
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Post by vacampbell on Mar 20, 2008 14:32:00 GMT -8
In response to the above post (rather than quoting it all again!) Sorry Nikki I read it and then as I skimmed read it back and the other posts before replying that statement stood out and I didn't re-read the above bit. :s I totally agree with the not being rude when you dont like the advice or other peoples opinions and like wise people shouldn't be rude when people do not take their advice. There is just no need to be rude at all!! To silvergerbil... I totally agree about rethinking about whether to post about something in fear of someone accusing you of being a bad gerbil owner or telling you you have done it all wrong etc! I'm having problems with my 5 boys at the minute and not really posting about it in fear of people saying well you shouldn't have them in a clan of 5 anyway...so I'm dealing with it in my way and on my own :s |
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Post by nikkiy21 on Mar 20, 2008 14:53:33 GMT -8
No problem Vicky! I agree too with the fact that there are instances when people are afraid to post about their problem/question, as they don't want to receive a load of negative comments or be "told off" in the replies! I'm even a little worried about responding to posts at the moment, you never know what kind of response you're going to get back!  |
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Post by SilverGerbil on Mar 20, 2008 15:32:08 GMT -8
Yes i know the feeling. Well vacampbell you can always PM someone like ritzie, boz, andrea...or any of the mod's and ask them for help?... To be honest i think its kool you have a group fo 5 guys i want a whole litter of guys i want to get a clan of like 7  but that will have to wait haha! xoxox |
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Vixen
Member
8 years of gerbil fun
Posts: 1,805
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Post by Vixen on Mar 20, 2008 16:08:36 GMT -8
This is great guys the hole point of me posting this thread was get get us talking openly about what we thought where the problems, and I so pleased people be it not many feel they can. This is what I ment about the comunity solving the problem, maybe change in the way thing are run is'nt needed just more openess. and the strange yet sad thing is I can also think of only 2 members that I have problem with the way they post.  |
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Post by SilverGerbil on Mar 21, 2008 1:50:33 GMT -8
Yes. To be honest if your not open and able to say whats your views on problems then why post on a forum?
Granted if you turn round and say you think elves exist, theirs probly someone who will laugh, call you an idiot and do everything they can to prove you wrong.
Thats not a problem, the problem is when people have a go about what you believe in. Granted we care alot about gerbils, but if you turn around (someone said this earlier) and tell someone they cant do something, they will do all they can to prove you wrong.
Its like telling a little kid not to touch plug sockets..their gonna cos you said not to.
Sadly the two people i can think off (shall remain un named) make this lovely forum into something horrid for people who need help, they put fear into peoples heads, that if they post their going to get rudely told off or had a go at.thats not what you need/want on a forum.
You want kind and friendly advice. Like the thing with Boz's mouse at the sanctuary she volenteers at...she knows their on cedar, knows its bad but as a new voulenteer she cant tell them what to do, its a sanctuary they get donations and have to use what they get they cant say no.
Posting a 'cedar will kill the mouse' comment isnt exactly helping, but giving advice on how to possibly talk to the other voulenteers or owners or people with more athority will help...
Anyway enough rambling..
xoxox
xoxox
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Probably not the best way i could say it, but im sure you get my point 
) or more than one way of getting the same solution.
but that will have to wait haha!
